Intelligent Quotes

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”

By noon it was clear that the Socialists would have a majority. At luncheon my wife said to me, “It may well be a blessing in disguise.” I replied, “At the moment it seems quite effectively disguised.”

“This is a good place,” he said.
“There’s a lot of liquor,” I agreed.

“Senators, we hear, must be politicians—and politicians must be concerned only with winning votes, not with statesmanship or courage. Mothers may still want their favorite sons to grow up to be President, but according to a famous Gallup poll of some years ago, they do not want them to become politicians in the process.”

“One loses everything when one loses one’s sense of humor.”

”You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.”

“For a poet he threw a very accurate milk bottle.”

“Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn a living at it.”

“So convenient a thing is it to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.”

“He’s not a bad guy really, except he’s so crooked, you shake hands with him you better count your fingers afterwards.”

“Some people did not like this ceremonial style. But after all when you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.”

“Thou canst not joke an enemy into a friend; but thou may'st a friend into an enemy.”

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

“Someone once said that history is written by the victors. He probably was not the greatest of all victors, if only because his name has been utterly forgotten.”